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“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so” – Shakespeare, Hamlet

Robert Dilts is a foremost developer, practitioner and trainer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). The notion that language represents our mental experiences is fundamental to the science of NLP. In his book, Sleight of Mouth, Mr. Dilts explores the impact of language on our everyday experience, guiding the reader to make the best use of language to shape his or her own experience, as well as to influence the behaviors and thoughts of others. The cornerstone of this ability is recognizing that each of us has our own world view, or internal maps, which are developed through our use of language and sensory representational systems that categorize or evaluate our life experiences. In other words, our realities are defined by “neuro-linguistic” maps that are built over the course of our lifetimes. These maps determine how we react to and interpret the world around us. They not only represent our current reality, but also shape our future realities.

Learning how to properly shape language to change our own perceptions of reality, and those of others, is a powerful skill. We see leaders in all areas of expertise do so on a regular basis. Indeed, the skill of creating an inspiring vision that is so fundamental to leadership is a prime example of how language may be employed to shape the realities of those around us. In his book, Mr. Dilts cites many such compelling examples, and provides the reader with some specific methods of using language to shape our own realities, as well as the realities of those around us.

Some of the more compelling, and obvious, methods discussed are reframing, chunking, recognition of patterns in language that give us insight into the maps of ourselves and others, methods of understanding the role language plays in the creation of value systems, and many others.

One of the more fundamental, and powerful, constructs Mr. Dilts discusses is the concept of frames. Frames are cognitive or linguistic structures that provide context to our realities. An example of such as structure is the classic “the glass is half full” or “the glass is half empty” view of the amount of water in a glass. By reframing the context or content of any situation we alter the way we think about and react to that situation. If we describe the glass as being half empty, that will most likely lead to a series of thoughts and reactions that are quite different than thinking of the glass as half full. The way we view, and express in language, the water level represents our own neuro-linguistic map of the world. The simple act of reframing a situation can fundamentally alter the way we, or our teams, view and react to the situation. In other words, reframing a situation’s context or content changes the meaning we attach to that situation. Many may view this as “spinning” a situation. While reframing and spinning are similar in construct, it is important to realize that reframing is not about creating a “false” or “artificial” reality. It is about fundamentally changing reality for ourselves and those around us.

So why is this relevant to project management, supply chain management, business integration, or leadership? The answer is simple, all of these activities, as with all business endeavors, requires the ability to influence employees, seniors and peers through the use of language. Influencing skills are vital to your success as a business professional, whether you are an individual contributor, team leader, manager, director, VP or C-level employee. Understanding how to use language to influence those around you is a vital skill.

I highly recommend Sleight of Mouth to those who are interested in developing advanced influencing skills. This book is not about techniques for manipulating the behavior of others, but about understanding the constructs that influence our perceptions of reality and how to alter them to achieve great things. It’s applicable not only to leading others, but also to understanding and developing our own maps of the world and to better ourselves.